Bringing out the Best in Your Introvert

One of the strongest personality traits that shape our kids is where they fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum. Susan Cain has written a book entitled, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This book has been on the best seller list for weeks and has started a mini-revolution. Introverts are realizing they have strengths the world needs. Extroverts are taking notice of the skills introverts bring, and giving them space and time to share their skills.

One chapter of Susan’s book discusses raising an introverted child. She gives great tips (especially if you are an extrovert raising an introvert), and even tells parents how to pick the best school for their introverted child. What she fails to point out is that introverted children might best be equipped by homeschooling!

Being an introvert does not mean you don’t like to be around people. According to the research Susan compiled, it’s more about overstimulation than shyness.

For example, when we took my son to a crowded beach for the first time, he was overwhelmed and he shut down. It wasn’t just because of the people; he was reacting to a new experience he didn’t know how to process. The bright sun, crashing waves, cold water, and the people were all too much for him. We had to help him process this stimuli, get comfortable with the experience, and then he loved it!

One of the reasons most of us homeschool is to give our children the best possible environment to foster learning. Getting to know how our introverted kids learn best helps us adjust their environment for their strengths.

Here are some tips to bring out the best in your introvert:

• Try to cut down on noise and distractions during school time. Excessive stimulation impedes learning. Studies now show that most of us can’t multitask. This is especially true for introverts.
• Help her find her “sweet spot,” the place she feels the most comfortable and is the most productive. This may mean that instead of doing her hardest subject in your very brightly decorated school room, she may prefer to find a quiet corner so she can truly focus.
• Allow time to readjust after experiences with lots of stimulation. We find this is especially true for our son on Sundays, when he is around people all morning and then back at night for more activities. We take Monday mornings slowly, so he can recharge.
• Give him time. Some days, I’m so focused on the next thing, I don’t give my son time to do his best work. Albert Einstein (who was famously introverted) said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer.” This may be an introverts greatest strength—the ability to stay with a problem or project until he understands it. Give him the time he needs to work until he is satisfied with the results.