HSV Panel – Learning Style & Love Languages

This week we asked the HSV Panel “please explain why you feel it is/is not important to know a child’s learning style and love language”.

Enjoy reading these great thoughts! Tomorrow link up your child’s learning style and/or love language and share any resources that helped you discover them!

Kris ~ I believe that the majority of “learning disabilities” are more about learning style differences than actual inability to learn. Most kids, even those with what would commonly be considered a major learning disability, can learn and succeed when their learning differences are being met, making it vital to discover your child’s learning style. Equally important is discovering your child’s love language. I believe this is especially true for the homeschooling family where it can sometimes take a conscious effort to ensure that we are replacing our “teacher” hat with our “mom” hat and taking time to speak love languages such as quality time and acts of service.

Amy ~ Figuring out my son’s learning style was a pivotal point in our homeschool, and seriously, I can’t think of a more important milestone that we’ve reached! I was making him miserable by trying to teach him using MY style. See, I am a complete structured, planning, detail-oriented left-brainer and he is a complete rabbit-trail loving, global learning, visual-spatial right-brainer. This just wasn’t fair for him and I am thankful I realized early on in his education (he is only 8) the importance of letting go of MY style in favor of HIS. The book If You Could See the Way I Think was a huge blessing for me. Then we sat down one morning, snuggled up on the couch with blankets, pillows, snacks and a generic subject list, and we had a long heart-to-heart about what HE wanted. I highly recommend sitting down with your child and asking them how they truly feel about school and the way their daily schedule is managed. It may be a blessing of an eye-opener for you both.

Lori ~ The number 1 way I learned about my kids learning style is when we drive in the car and they spew out something that they know that I find interesting I ask “How do you know/or find out about that?” Listen to their answer “I did…..”, “I heard….”, “I saw….” See what I mean they are telling you how they learned!! The other way is I observe them during the summer (when we are all a lot more relaxed), especially if we go to a new place we haven’t been before, how do they react? Do they touch everything (my youngest says he “sees with his hands”. My oldest will always want to get either reading material or preferably audio or dvd/video from the gift shop about a topic that he found interesting while visiting a new place vs something hands on. For love languages, when they are younger I try and incorporate all of them and as they grow older you see which ones are reciprocated back to you most often. I find choosing one-on-one time with each parent the most effective way to demonstrate all of the love languages in one way or another (time, doing something for/with them, going out for a treat, physical touch, etc).

Crystal ~ I do feel it’s important to discover your child’s particular learning style and love language. Let your instincts be your guide. I tend to use more hands-on activities with my youngest son, while my youngest daughter needs frequent breaks during school time. I’ve also learned that while all my children need one-on-one time with me, they prefer to spend it in different ways. For example, my 17 year old daughter loves to talk after everyone else is in bed (and that’s when she really opens up), and my 14 year old son really enjoys going out for ice cream—just the two of us. I think that the beauty of homeschooling is that we are able to really get-to-know our children in all areas of their lives.

Maureen ~ Knowing how your kids learn and what motivates them helps lower the frustration level for both you and your child! By understanding how your child learns, you can customize their curriculum in a way that works best for them. I have 5 kids and not one of them learns the same or receives/perceives love the same. To add to the mix, sometimes at different stages in their lives, what motivated them once doesn’t work. I am constantly evaluating what is working with my children and what needs to be changed. Two helpful resources I’ve found that touch on these subjects are: The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias and The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. Sometimes having multiple learning styles in a family can be challenging for customizing curriculum. You don’t have to revamp the whole curriculum for each learning style. You can add little things here and there, like audio learning songs, jumping rope while saying math facts, adding visuals if there weren’t any for a concept etc.

Angie ~ While my daughter that is just starting kindergarten seems to be a similar learner to what I was as a student, my boys are very, very different. It has been vital that I recognize these differences in our learning styles, or I think we would all have lost our minds a few years ago (right after we started homeschooling). If I hadn’t realized that my boys needed more time, more guidance, and more hands on experiences (as well as the visuals of videos and the computer), I would have assumed that I could teach them they same way I wanted to learn. I would have been so wrong and none of us would have enjoyed homeschooling. While I still make the kids do some activities that fall more into my learning style (which is more traditional, and I think is important for them to become accustomed to), I also work hard to infuse ways that they learn best as well.

Margaret ~ Through a lot of prayer and reading books like Knowing Your Child’s Learning Style and Knowing Your Child’s Love Language I’m still not sure if we know what they are. :o) I’m convinced that as far as learning style goes there is never one set style a child has. All of our children have a fraction of each and I have tried to hit them all through the curriculum we choose by integrating the different styles into it. As far as love language, we as parents need to demonstrate what godly/unconditional love is not necessarily read it from a book to figure out what our child is. If we are displaying what 1 Corinthians 13 love is, Lord willing that love language will be displayed back. Books can be helpful, but God’s word is where it is at.

April ~ I’ve never made it a point to actually seek out my children’s love languages or learning styles. It is something I have given thought to, but I find that just being really in tune to them, watching how they handle things, and gauging how things might need to change has always been enough for me to determine how best to help them learn and to make them feel like a much loved part of our family. I guess I’d say we’ve found our love languages and learning styles in the same manner we do a lot of other things: Trial and error.

Cheryl ~ I think it’s important to have at least a basic understanding of your child’s love language. It is not essential, but knowing how to best communicate with your child could make your lives a great deal easier! If you are effectively communicating with your child the relationships are smoother and the child is generally feels more secure.

Mirinda ~ Learning styles is an idea that, when we first started homeschooling last year, I gave a lot of thought to. Quickly it fell to the wayside and I was determined to do it my way- which was usually the fastest, easiest way to get through our lesson! Once I really stopped and explored how each of my kids learned, I realized they were all three different. Now that we are well into our second year and I’m catering to each style, I’m amazed at how much easier our lessons truly are. It’s so much better for the child- AND the teacher! I recommend doing some searches online for basic tests that allow you to find your child’s learning style.
I’ve had the Love Language book for a long time and every now and then will re-evaluate what I think each child’s primary love language is….because for my boys it’s changed as they got older! My daughter’s has always stayed the same but for each child, they run on ’empty’ if their little love tank isn’t filled- and it does not take much to fill them! We’ve found it’s easier to spend a few minutes each day speaking their ‘language’ rather than wait until behavior problems call attention to the fact that they need some ‘lovin’!


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