My timing and my son’s timing doesn’t always mesh.
“Hurry up, we need to leave.” Oh my what a loaded request that is! What potential for stress and frustration! I know that by making the statement, my 11 year old will slip into snail mode… And yet I always say it. It must be habit. The faster I feel we need to move, the slower he is able to.
It’s so easy to forget. The unseen disability within him isn’t advertised. It doesn’t speak up for itself. It just sits there, waiting to remind me once again that my agenda moves too fast for him to process. My “Hurry up” gets translated in his mind as “You are too slow”. By pushing for speed, I am telling him he doesn’t measure up.
And it manifests itself as “I can’t find my shoes…
jacket…
pants…”
Or, “I need to feed the dog…
play with the gerbil…
plug in your cell phone…”
My frustration builds as my I’ll-do-it-myself-bring-me-your-shoes attitude kicks in and tries to take over.
Take a breath, Momma. Slow down. Look ahead at your schedule for the day. You have an appointment at 11:00 this morning? Set out his shoes ahead of time, right by the door. Finish up that spelling lesson early enough to give yourself a whole half an hour to physically get out the door. Your agenda may trump his play time, but his abilities trump your haste.
Why are you homeschooling? If you are constantly fighting with the hurry-ups, post a short list of your Whys on your refrigerator.
Remind yourself:
- He would get lost in the public school special Ed system
- There are no bullies at home (right Momma?)
- We can work at his pace.
- We have time for his therapies and other appointments because we homeschool
Now look at your appointment calendar again, and ensure that your schedule isn’t going to steamroll your child. After all, you’re doing this homeschooling thing for him.
Right, Momma?
The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. Proverbs 21:5
Dawn shares more about her family at The Momma Knows.
Sparkly Things says
thank you so much for this! there are so many days where I need the reminder.
Maria b says
I have a son who is 26 , never diagnosed who trying to hurry always had the opposite effect. I now have a 10 year old with autism that I’ve learned to plan better and build in plenty of time
Mary Kate says
My oldest son has cerebral palsy and we homeschool. I get it. I get it. I get it. Thank you for your candor. I am not the only one.
Tabitha (Growing Up Homeschooled) says
Dawn, you were preaching to my soul. Thanks so much for the encouragement today! I needed this reminder that it is about her and not me. I need to do what I can to make transitions easier and be prepared.
Jill says
This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of today! Thank you!