When my children were toddlers, recipe I was the one primarily responsible for bedtime preparations because of my husband’s work schedule. On the weekends and holidays, erectile when their daddy was home and taking an active role in household routines, check the girls would complain, “Daddy doesn’t do it right!” When I asked what they meant, they said, “Daddy doesn’t do it the same way you do!” I gently explained that there is no right or wrong way to do a lot of things. That different is just that—different. The girls accepted my explanation and quit complaining. But then I forgot my own lesson . . .
Fast forward a few years. It was time for my older daughter to start kindergarten. Our “trial” year had gone well. I researched kindergarten curriculum and finally chose one. My husband asked some questions to determine the soundness of the academic foundation it laid, and we ordered it. In the years since, we have changed curriculum and some ways of doing things. My husband continues to ask questions about the curriculum and the girls’ progress, and he even helps them with lessons when he is home. Despite all of this, I have become the “expert” on homeschooling at our house.
This seemed okay at first. After all, I’m the one with formal training as a teacher. Then one thing went horribly wrong.
I started thinking my opinion is the only one that matters.
I won’t rehash the ugly, but I’m sure you can imagine the way my attitude has negatively impacted our family because, until recently, I couldn’t handle the fact that my husband homeschools differently than I do.
I’m still working on this in my life. I’m allowing God to change my attitudes and, in turn, my actions. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?” (NIV1984). God has blessed me with a faithful man.
This Father’s Day, and every day, we need to make room for him in our homeschool.
As the head of our home, my husband has the right to be and needs to be actively involved, especially if he does things differently than I do. Where would our homeschool be without him? Dad is the one who takes the kids on a regular rotation of every park in town. He is the one who does some of the hands-on projects that I deem “too messy” or “gross.” Dad is the one who comes in with a fresh perspective on situations when the girls and I are too tired and frustrated to see all of our options. We desperately need him!
“Love . . . does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:3, 5 (NIV)
How do you keep other family members actively involved in your homeschool?
When we first started homeschooling, I was so focused on “sticking to the schedule”, and my husband’s gift to our children has been his desire to sit and talk for hours about worldview issues or current events. At first, I got antsy because “okay, it has been over an hour for this talk, we just cut into math time”. I’m so glad God helped me see the great need for my husband’s time with our children. Now, I see my children, older and able to see the right from wrong in news stories or op-eds that run very counter to our christian worldview. The time God gave my husband with our children has been so key in their lives. Thank you for posting this and sharing your heart and the scripture that has spoken to you.
You’re welcome, Michelle! It’s good to know I’m not alone in struggling to let go and let Dad do homeschooling the way he does it best. It’s always great to realize that what seems to be “wasted” time is some of the most valuable, best spent time of the day!
Thank you for sharing this Jennifer! I needed this reminder–in a big way!
Thanks for sharing that, Lisa! I’m glad it helped. It was a little scary to throw it out there. I felt so vulnerable! (The truth can be like that sometimes!)
What a sound reminder, Jennifer. I can understand how this kind of situation can occur, and you give great insight into how to welcome our family into homeschooling. Thank you!
You’re welcome, Caroline. Thank you for your kind words. This was a hard post to write!
Can relate!!
There have been times that I’ll ask my husband to help the boys with their higher math and wonder why he has them using a different method than mine in explaining it to them. Then, I have to remind myself that I did, indeed, ask him for his help and he knows WAY more about math than me; after all…he went as high as trigonometry in high school. I barely figured out Algebra 1!! haha!
I step back, move on to the other kids and thank God that my man was at home to help in that moment.
Thank you for reminding us of the perspective that we as home educating moms should have. Besides, we Are home educating FAMILIES!!
Exactly, Kela! It’s so simple, yet so hard to keep in mind sometimes when we’re the ones who are home with them most of the time.
I’d do exactly what Kela from the post above mentioned haha.. I’d ask my husband for help, explaining my son something I can’t seem to get any further and then question his way of explaining.. I’d take it further though. I really have to hold my tongue to not talk in between and interrupting him because I’d STILL think I’d know better… and once my son seems to “get it” I wonder if he left something out.. HORRIBLE !!
Feeling ya (with chuckles), Myriam! 🙂
It’s hard, Myriam! You’re right. It’s a chance for us to exercise self-control and trust!