To many people, I am considered an overprotective mom. By many, I mean those who don’t believe in homeschooling and don’t understand our way of life. However, I do not believe that I am OVERprotective. Our family is centered on the Bible, and we are striving to raise children, who have tender hearts, towards the things of God. Sometimes, though, it can be the “unpopular” way of doing things. Sometimes it can mean making our children sit out of activities that their friends are participating in. Sometimes it means we do not go to the ever so popular movie that was just released.
There have been times that I try to justify something that I know is not right. I think it is safe to say we have all done this a time or two.
My husband once gave me this analogy…
If someone were to take all the finest ingredients and make a gourmet batch of brownies, but right before baking they mixed in some poop, would you still eat them?
They might look great and maybe even taste great, but the fact remains that you are still eating poop. It doesn’t matter that they are made with the finest ingredients, that one added ingredient ruins the entire batch of brownies.
I think far too often we as parents justify things that we know are not right. We try to sugar coat it so that we don’t have to be the unpopular person in the group. The fact is though that right is right, and wrong is wrong. It doesn’t matter how you package it.
It is our responsibility to train our children what is right and what is wrong. We can’t say, “well this sin is good, but this sin is bad.” God doesn’t hold one sin as being more wrong than the other.
Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)
We all have things we need to work on. Lately, this has applied to not only our children, but to my husband and myself as well. I have noticed the less I watch the more sensitive I am becoming to things like murder and violence. Movies that I used to watch without blinking an eye, I now could not even get 30 minutes into it without having to turn it off.
Though we have to make tough decisions sometimes, I know the reward is going to far outweigh the sacrifice.
Oh, yes, I know what you mean! My mom was overprotective, according to pretty much everybody. And then I grew up to realize that, 9 times out of 10, she was RIGHT! OK, so she was physically overprotective and took us to the doctor for every little sniffle. Maybe she could have let us be a little more adventurous in the outdoors, too. But spiritually? She was absolutely right. Children’s hearts should be guarded, and they should be guarded from a lot of things that our culture finds harmless and amusing. Scantily clad and heavily made-up dolls, for instance. And most children’s television has morphed into “family” entertainment–meaning the jokes about some adult things are intended to fly right over the children’s heads so parents will be amused, too. Funny how it changes a child’s thinking when you do that. And the “adults” who enjoy it aren’t exactly getting quality thoughts put into their heads, either.
Hi! I am an aspiring homeschooling mom and I am so glad I’ve come across this blog. I am linking you up on mine. 🙂
Regarding your post, it’s pretty sad that homeschooling is soooo unpopular to many and people who have no idea what it is often think it is weird for a parent to take the job of a teacher. When my friends also found out that I was planning to homeschool my kids next year I got a lot of WHYs.
Oh well. 😛
I could have written this article. People think I’m overprotective, too. I tell them, “If I don’t protect them, who will?” I love the analogy, too. I’m going to share this post with my kids. Poop has a way of bringing things home for them. ;D
Do you also think that kids should be protected from bullies, mean kids, etc? That’s the arguments I’m getting from others about not wanting to send my son to school…that they NEED to be around kids with bad behaviors so they know how to act in “real” life. *sigh* It’s SO frustrating. My son isn’t even 3 yet so we aren’t quite at the emergency stage with these arguments but it is so disheartening. I only have ONE person who is supportive (and it’s not even my husband) about my desire to home school. Everyone else is totally against it. 🙁
I try to protect my kids whenever possible, I do not believe they NEED to be around badly behaved children, they will get that enough without trying. I do believe they need to learn to function with others, and learn to get along with other children. Being around bullies is inevitable at some point for most kids. I do not think a child should have to deal with it repeatedly ( I would remove mine from the situation) However, even with being homeschooled my kids have had to learn to deal with bullies at church (sad I know), dance class, and coops. I am training my kids the right way to act, and we have frequent discussions on behavior that is appropriate or not.
Heather,
I don’t rather prefer poop in my food and I’m especially not the type of mother who serves it to her children. My oldest is ten and I know that people may consider me quite over protective. I use to question myself on some of the decisions I made because of the opinions of others. Now, it totally doesn’t bother me. It isn’t a matter of “look at your kid vs. mine,” which is why I parent the way I do, but rather a desire to lead my children according to our values and wanting to be pleasing to God.
It is funny (and encouraging) when I hear my husband’s opinions regarding the way we parent. I’m thankful that we agree and that is all that matters because our children are our responsibility.
This blog has not only reminded me of my growing up years, but has also allowed me to revisit some issues Ive had as a mother myself. My parents were very protective, but all 3 of my sisters as well as myself, have stayed in the church and are working for God! I am proud of my upbringing. Looking at my children now, thats what I want to be for them. I want them to know boundaries, but I want them to understand why the boundaries are there. I am starting my 4th year of homeschooling this year and I still get some negativity. Some ask what the children are to do when they face reality…well, you don’t throw a child into combat do you? You train a soldier and equipt them to the best of your ability before sending them to face an enemy. that is my goal. I will train them up, give them the knowledge and tools they need, and then continue to support and pray for them as I send them out fully prepared for the world around them! You may not be a popular parent, but you will be a proud one!
I was not raised in an over protective home. In fact I think I was raised in a NON Protective home… I was raised by the “stereo typical ” hippie parents. The “Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll” parents. I pretty much was told to toughen up and suck it up. I was told to deal with it or get out of it myself.
Now that my oldest is in 3rd grade and being bullied in school I have pulled her out… I’m appalled, not just by the bullies, but by the adults. My daughter was told to ignore the behavior. In turn she felt that the teachers did not care and lived in an anxiety induced stupor at school….
I learned what kind of parent I did NOT want to be from my raising… Yes, I’m very OVERLY protective of my children. As children,we, they don’t have the ability to walk away from situations. So who is there to protect them against bullies and violence and sexual inuendos? We are. If we don’t know one else will. My mother finds it odd that we preview every movie or show that we let our children watch. Her excuse, ” You girls watched what you wanted with no explanations.” I understand her point but i also want my children to watch something educational, imaginative without violence,death, or sexual content.
My dh family is supportive. However his brother and sister in law are not supportive of my choice of a “Christian” based lesson. They have “turned” athiest. They don’t condemn me for my decisions but they let it be known that I have to open my children up and let them make their own educational decisions. I believe we should teach them and train them in the way they should go. I also believe that my children DO need to know about other religions and cultures but only after I know they are strong in their own faith.
Anita, I’m glad to see that you broke the cycle of that kind of “parenting”. Don’t let your parents or inlaws opnions sway you. We preview movies as well. We are very cautious with even Disney movies…so much witchcraft is wrapped into cute packages. The things we allow them to be exposed to will be the things they are drawn too as they get older. Gaurd their hearts as you train their character.
I can’t agree more. We are not able to home school, but our children are in a private Christian school. One thing we really struggle with is we do not do play dates or sleep overs. That is, I will not leave my children at someone else’s home and leave. I believe that my husband and I are responsible for their up bringing and the influences in their lives and I have no way of guaranteeing that they will not be exposed to something that I feel is inappropriate. There has been stress put on otherwise strong friendships, even with God loving families because of this choice but we feel convicted in our hearts that this is right.
Your so Awesome! I want to homeschool Jaelynne, and I have sooooo much to learn
Agree! However, not only is the parenting unpopular but now that my children have entered the late teen years I now realize the tough road I have also set them on. Do not get me wrong…. it is a VERY worthy road! But, I do have to admit that it was MUCH easier to travel that road myself alone than it is to watch my children being attacked within the church for just living out the Bible in their lives.
And…. this is what God did to PROTECT his children…..
After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side[e] of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. Gen 3:24
SO….. SWING YOUR SWORDS PARENTS!