When it’s More Than Just Laziness

I am a runner.  My winter half-marathon finally gave me permission to claim that title, even though my 37 years of not running still perch on my shoulder and make me wonder.  I’m not a lifelong athlete, but that knowledge gives my weekly accomplishments and determination a special layer of meaning.  I’m just a regular homeschool mom who took to the road and found something rewarding and exhilarating.  When I make the choice to head out for a run, I know I’ll come back feeling more confident and more aware than when I left the house.

But I also struggle with a mood disorder which affects my desire to get out and do what I know I love.  From the outside looking in it seems like laziness, but sometimes motivation is harder to come by; sometimes it take a lot more than an exclamation of that little Nike slogan and a kick in the pants.  Some days my desire to not get out and run is as powerful as my desire to stay under the covers and escape the day.

I know what it’s like to feel that getting up to exercise is prevented by a thousand-pound weight sitting squarely on my stomach.  No amount of encouragement from my husband, or head knowledge that I need to run, or number of miles written in red ink on my calendar will work to get me out the door.

When I’m struggling with depression, “shoulds” and “supposed tos” only make me feel worse.  So what do I do?

Tips for exercising when you’re depressed

• On a good day, find a phrase that you can repeat to yourself when the bad days come.  It can be as simple as “I can do it”, a scripture verse such as “More of Him, less of me”, or even one word like “Now.”  I find that my strength of will increases when I have a mantra to repeat over and over again to myself.  It helps me get my feet on the floor, my running clothes on, and my body on the move even when it’s really hard.
• Drop the music (or add it).  Change up your usual routine.  When I went through a really low patch, and had no goal I was working toward in my running to help motivate me, I found that even my regular music wasn’t inspiring me anymore.  I need to be in my head while I was running and take a broom to all of the messy thoughts that had built up there.  I was never one to run without music, but for that few weeks it was better for me to hear my breathing and my feet pounding the path instead of the songs on my iPod.
• Don’t eat, but drink something to boost your sugar.  A glass of orange juice or soymilk (or even chocolate milk) gives me a quick burst of energy when I feel I have none.
• Exercise with a friend (or don’t).  It’s so important to know ourselves well.  I’m an introvert and thus usually run alone.  I do have an occasional run date, and enjoy the time chatting; miles pass quickly and I am able to connect with other moms who have similar interests.  When I’m having a low mood day, though, running with anyone else is especially difficult for me.  If you are an extrovert you probably have the opposite need– running with others can bring you to a better place.  Whatever your personality, give yourself permission to do what is best for you.
• Take a day off.  So this one seems a bit contradictory, right?  Yet I find that when I allow myself a day off, my motivation for the next day increases dramatically.  We are not superwomen, we need to give ourselves grace.  Exercising and keeping our bodies healthy are important stewardship goals, but forgiveness and grace are crucial for our spiritual and emotional well-being.

There’s no doubt that dealing with mood disorders make most things harder, sometimes seemingly impossible, and that includes exercise.  But it is possible to overcome what we know to be lies about who we are and what we are capable of if we pray and trust the Lord and His strength to see us through.

What are your biggest obstacles when it comes to exercise?